So here we are again, launching full-boar (full-bore?) into another fall semester. I am teaching 100 level college writing for the first time ever. BU has this great program that allows the writing program to hire grad students from all fields as teaching fellows who actually teach stand alone courses for their program. The best part is that I got to design my own syllabus. The worst part is all the time that goes into planning when you teach a new course for the first time...
Already this month I have had to cancel class once because Isabella was sick with a fever and couldn't go in to daycare. Luckily she needed to stay home on Thursday and then had all weekend to recover. The syllabus is so tight that missing one day could have really put us behind, but I found out I had put something on the syllabus that wasn't required for first semester writing courses. So I ended up spending time editing dates and assignments on the syllabus during Isabella's nap times. That feeling of always being one step behind when you are desperate to be one step ahead just stinks.
I think my students are actually enjoying the class I designed, at least so far, and I am lucky that most of them seem to have very strong verbal skills. I take this responsibility very seriously, mostly because I will be teaching young kids things about Judaism, and about religion in general, that they have never, ever thought of before. Figuring out how to broaden the minds of religious students without ruining their faith, or teach non-religious students respect for religion without skimping on the truth about religion's ability to divide, conquer and destroy is a huge task. And of course, I need to be teaching them how to survive the gauntlet of 100 level undergrad courses with strong writing skills...
Isabella, meanwhile, is pulling up to stand and can even stand without pulling herself up. She goes to daycare 4 days a week now, sometimes 5, and some days, it kills me. I never, ever thought that I would have such a hard time dropping her off some days. It's like the bulk of our lives each week are spent apart, and this pains me. She seems to be a very happy little one--I love her daycare provider, as well as the other kids she spends her days with, and Isabella seems to, too. But I don't want to miss a thing. Not one minute.
And yet I have to finish this degree, and finish it sooner rather than later. This is my chance for a career, a career I am going to be good at. My first comprehensive exam is on October 17. I have a book review to finish and kids to teach and a dissertation to plan. And I love my work. Getting lost in it feels like nothing else. And even though people told me you fall in love with your child, I never expected that my love for her would surpass my love of all other things.
Speaking of which, our wee bippy is waking from her nap. Until next time...
